Wednesday, December 28, 2005

New Years Resolutions

This is the week that many people scramble around to come up with new years resolutions so that come New Year's Day, they are all prepared to turn their lives around. Yeah right. This week you'll hear every fat fuck say they are going to drop 50lbs in 2006, every 2 pack a day smoker claiming they will quit, every drunk saying this is his last drink, every molester saying this is the last kid he'll touch, every smelly fuck saying he'll buy some deodorant and shower, every unhappy spouce saying they are leaving their husband or wife, every dad who hits the titty bar after work 5 days a week, claiming he's going to spend more time with his family, Lindsay Lohan saying she'll actually come out with a good movie or song, Sugar V claiming he is having his last sausage on new Year's Eve....the list goes on and on. I think resolutions are bullshit for the most part.

If you are that unhappy about something in your life, don't wait until January 1st to change it. Do it today. If you are dating a douche bag, dump him/her today, don't wait for the New Year. If your lungs look like a fuckin' coal miners from the 300 packs you smoked this year, quit tonight, don't wait for January 1st. If your liver looks like Mickey Mantle's, put the drink down and start today. If you are out of breath from climbing 2 steps, drop the doughnut, and pick up a dumbell, TONIGHT. These New Year's resolutions year after year get boring to listen to. Don't talk about them, just do them. It takes more energy to tell everyone what you are going to do than to just do it. Start today. Although there are SOME New Years resolutions some of us may want to make:


Start placing the nozzle back on the pump before leaving the gas station. Posted by Picasa


Start checking your ass for toilet paper before leaving the restroom. Posted by Picasa


Start obeying the posted speed limit. Posted by Picasa


Start wearing clean underwear in case a game of half naked Twister breaks out. Posted by Picasa


Keep a safe distance between yourself and the local cops. Posted by Picasa


And finally, stop parking in front of those hydrants, eventually there will be a fire nearby. Posted by Picasa

Have a terrific Wednesday everyone!
at

10 comments:

  1. HeatherDecember 28, 2005 9:05 AM

    Ha, ha, ha...

    You know, some of us addicts need a little deadline. Kind of like Fat Tuesday before Lent. Just a few more days to try and kill yourself with a doughnut/smoke/sausage...whatever.

    Come on, Charlie--give some of us addicts a break! ;)

    And, I will not eat for a week after seeing that awful Twister picture. Blech.

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  2. JenniDecember 28, 2005 9:05 AM

    AMEN!

    PS, you could've left out the twister photo...EEW!

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  3. AnonymousDecember 28, 2005 9:10 AM

    those are some crazy pics charlie. lol.

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  4. StephDecember 28, 2005 1:22 PM

    Ahahaha those pictures were great! LOL

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  5. MarieDecember 28, 2005 2:02 PM

    So funny and so true! The pictures you posted were pretty classic though. That guy playing twister in his dirty drawers is just gross. lol

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  6. Bridget UnnelDecember 28, 2005 2:13 PM

    Gives a whole new meaning to playing a game of "Dirty Twister"!!

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  7. The Diva ♥December 28, 2005 5:18 PM

    hahaha thats too funny! u r get around ;)

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  8. cosmopolgirlDecember 28, 2005 5:41 PM

    Love the pics! Hate new years resolutions also. I'm thinking the clean underwear thing is something to strive for.

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  9. WordWhizDecember 28, 2005 9:17 PM

    The photos were great...except for the Twister game. That was just GROSS! Ewww...

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  10. BarbaraDecember 29, 2005 12:06 AM

    New to your site, looks great. Loved the pics....Going to a NYE party Sat that will have twister...hmmmmm having second thoughts. ick

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