Ok, we already did the things we'd never hear someone say on a Monday. Now, let's list things we'd never hear a Dad say to his kid in light of yesterday's Father's Day:
"For your sweet 16, I think we should get your nipples pierced"
"Son, forget college, the car wash is hiring"
"You sure you only need a 12pack?"
"You don't need any underwear under that prom dress"
"Sure take the car, you'll pass your road test next month anyway"
"Have her home by 4am"
"Who wants to help me plant pot in the garden?"
"A #1 Dad tie, I LOVE IT!"
"If it takes you 9 years to finish college, it's no big deal"
hahahahaha....I know you will all come up with some funnier ones.......
"You're going to be my daughter's baby-daddy? I'm so proud of you!"
ReplyDelete"My money is your money."
"My Harley? You're right, not as important as getting you that Louis Vitton luggage set."
"No, my 15 year old doesn't have a curfew."
"Money *does* grow on trees. (And the tree is called Dad.)"
great ones MUSE!!!!!
ReplyDelete"sweety, does your boyfriend enjoy blow jobs with your tongue ring?"
ReplyDeletePu, that was hysterical!
ReplyDeleteDarian, I liked the ribbed for yoru pleasure one!
have you taught my daughter the shocker yet?
ReplyDeleteEar Shot, hahahahaha
ReplyDeleteBetel, great scenario!
hahahahahaha!!!!
ReplyDeleteUNDERWEAR!!!!
Sure you can sleep over. Just keep the bedroom door shut and try not to bang that headboard against the wall too hard, we have to get up early tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteMatching tatoos? How cute!
Sure you can sleep over Michael Jackson's house,we need the money.
more:
ReplyDeleteto his daughter's date "would you check out the shitter on that critter?!"
she likes doggie style best, trust me. **wink**
on the kids way out the door "you kids have fun, we'll just be here having some anal fun"
i could go on
one more:
ReplyDeletesure you can go spend the night with michael jackson.
"It's your 16th bithday, take the Benz & have some fun!"
ReplyDelete"You want implants? Sure I'll buy and may I suggest Double D's."
"Here, take my Vette for a spin." That is something my dad (unfortunately) will never say.
ReplyDeleteHere's a cucumber and a condom. Go practice and we'll have a test to see if you are ready.
ReplyDeleteanonymous
ReplyDeletewhen i was in high school a girl i knew won the "condom putting on test" in health class. they had to put them on banannas. i don't think she shared that with her dad.
"You look so matronly in that dress... do you have anything a tad bit more clingy?"
ReplyDeleteyou all are way too funny....
ReplyDeleteHere honey, hold my beer while daddy does this u turn in the middle of the freeway.
ReplyDeleteyeah son, she's a good catch, though she gives a better hand job than blow job.
ReplyDelete