There are things in life that can never be cool no matter how you try to dress it up or make it look. There's a quote that says "You can't make chicken salad out of chicken shit no matter how much mayonaise you use." Here are some things that you can never make "cool" under any circumstance:
1) Cataract Sunglasses
2) A black leather "bra" for a car
3) Member's Only jackets
4) A "Rascal" motorized scooter
5) Minivans
6) A "combover" hairstyle to cover balding
7) The Jesus fish magnet on the back of your car
8) Giving a Chia Pet as a gift
9) Dressing up in a Star Wars Costume when it's not Halloween
10)Playing "Dungeons and Dragons"
11)Cranking up John Denver in your car
12)Being a Mets fan
Ok, Beach Bums....let's hear your "Things you can never make cool!"
Monday morning meetings are never cool. Also, picking your nose can not be played off as cool, no matter how hard you try to hide it.
ReplyDeleteMr. Pu
smoking crack can never be cool.
ReplyDeletewaking up hungover next to an ugly stranger can never be cool.
driving a car with a chicken on top or some other restaurant logo can never be cool.
1. Station Wagons
ReplyDelete2. Speedo's for men
3. Business travel (cuase it sucks)
4. Having your blog play a little tune.
5.Packing for a business trip.
6. Unpacking when you get home.
7. Old guys who think they are hot.
I could go on and on...but I have to get ready for work!!!!!
Have a happy Monday!!!!
13) Sports periphenalia of crappy teams.
ReplyDelete-Flood pants can never be cool.
ReplyDelete-Bermuda shorts worn with dark socks and sandals can never been cool.
-Having "SUCKER!" written in permanent marker across your forehead can never be cool.
-Having annoying pop-up ads on your blog can never been cool.
You mean John Denver's not cool? But I really like that "Calypso" song. I always crank that! Geez...next you'll be telling me Barry Manilow isn't cool either!
lots of good ones everyone so far!
ReplyDeleteWord- The pop ups are from that stupid poll I have on the left....I don't get the pop ups b/c I have a pop up blocker...sorry! :(
the Sugar V in biker shorts
ReplyDeleteI resent #12.
ReplyDeletePeople who think they're funny and are so far from it.
300 lb people on the beach in a swimsuit.
3" fingernails.
Goth girls.
I like what Jill said"Old guys who think they're hot"(Get over yourself Mister.)
1) Wearing leggings underneath your skirt
ReplyDelete2) Sassoon Jeans
3) Mullet haircuts
4) Dice and wobbly head bulldogs, in the car
5) Being a COPYCATTER!!!
How about the light up license plate frame?
ReplyDeleteCrap...first John Denver - now Sassoon jeans? I am so totally uncool.
ReplyDeleteCharlie: I have pop-up blocker at home. Currently, I'm not at home. I'm just taking a break from typing up the minutes from our super-cool Monday morning meeting. (BYOC - Bring your own coffee.)
LMAO Sassoon - I was a Jordache girl back then :op
ReplyDeleteI agree with the Speedos too - fookin gross, not even Javy Lopez could look good in one of those.
Like #12 Char ;)
Oh God, I have broken so many of these cardinal rules. I'm taking off my Member's Only jacket now...
ReplyDeleteDitto to that "Honda Element" shout out. FUGLY!!
Wait just a minute, you mean George Costanza on his rascal wasn't cool?????
ReplyDeletebeing fat and on a nude beach is another!
ReplyDeleteWorse than the Honda Element is the Pontiac Aztec!
ReplyDeleteOther things that can never be cool:
Hammer Pants
Gold front teeth
Flannel checked shirts
I knew Flava Flav
ReplyDeleteFANNY PACKS!
ReplyDelete1. Preppy headbands
ReplyDelete2. The expression "You go, girl"
3. The 700 Club
4. Double-wides
5. Socks with sandals (men or women)
6. Men in sandals
7. Pantyhose with open-toed shoes
8. VPL
9. Granny panties
10. Blue eyeshadow
Speedos is good, especially on overwight retirees from Quebec on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale.
ReplyDeleteMullets is another good one.
How about Barry Manilow? I had a roomie for only one year in college (thank god) and made a habit of frisbeeing her Barry Manilow album off my turntable onto her bed if she left it there when she ran to class.
White wool socks with Birkenstock sandals. Now I own a pair of birkis, but would never be caught dead wearing them with socks. White wool socks just screams "German tourist," who is about to ask me for directions to Times Square or Rockefeller Center.
Tourists who ask for directions to Park Avenue from the East Village. I'll give them, alright, but won't bother to say that it's about a mile and a half walk up 4th Ave. to Park Ave. South, to 34th St., where it actually turns into Park Ave. proper. Get a map. They're available for free from many places. Even a subway map's normally good enough.
The TRANS AM...nuff said.
ReplyDeleteOh and how COULD I forget....
ReplyDelete"Windows" will never, ever be cool...